{"id":29,"date":"2021-08-22T22:57:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-22T21:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/?p=29"},"modified":"2021-09-04T09:22:34","modified_gmt":"2021-09-04T08:22:34","slug":"hello-kim-ji-hae-shi-mei-un-donkgo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/?p=29","title":{"rendered":"Man Who Thinks He Is Team&#8217;s Franchise Player, Clearly Isn&#8217;t"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"dropcapp2 wp-block-paragraph\">SHADWELL, LONDON &#8211; Jared Howard, a regular at the South London Summer Rec League, was devastated to have to inform his team that they will be missing his critical help this upcoming season. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"dropcapp2 wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The worst part about all of this is that I feel like I&#8217;ve let my teammates down. It&#8217;s not just all the stats; I bring a strong, leadership presence and I work hard at both ends of the floor. I&#8217;m not even sure if the team will want to enroll without me,&#8221; Howard was heard telling mainly his wife. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"dropcapp2 wp-block-paragraph\">Carl Edwards, the Head Coach, was largely unconcerned about Howard&#8217;s injury: &#8220;Who?&#8221; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"dropcapp2 wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;There was a guy that kept rummaging through the stats sheets asking where his rebound was recorded but I&#8217;m not sure getting drilled in the mouth with the ball counts. I let him play for three minutes because I thought he was a brother of one of the players with some sort of brain issue.&#8221; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"dropcapp2 wp-block-paragraph\">Howard&#8217;s top three plays last season included:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Resetting the shot clock by hurling the ball off the underside of the rim back into his own face <\/li><li>Somehow maintaining a relationship with his wife after she witnessed her husband&#8217;s forehead get used as a resting place for an opponent&#8217;s testicles during a dunk<\/li><li>Paying the league&#8217;s \u00a327 fee within three minutes of the registration link being live<\/li><\/ul>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Howard was seen working on his rehab in his back garden by dunking on the toddler basket over his three year old son.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>SHADWELL, LONDON &#8211; Jared Howard, a regular at the South London Summer Rec League, was devastated to have to inform his team that they will be missing his critical help this upcoming season. &#8220;The worst part about all of this is that I feel like I&#8217;ve let my teammates down. It&#8217;s not just all the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":210119891,"featured_media":49,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"{title}\n\n{excerpt}\n\n{url}","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[705],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-local"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/basketball-sports-teams-players-71103.jpeg","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pdiuvv-t","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/210119891"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=29"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":169,"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29\/revisions\/169"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/49"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=29"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=29"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thescreamingvoid.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=29"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}